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Welcome to the Academy, where you will learn about the WAY OF THE CRONCH.

A loud BOOOMING voice shouts down at you, and you can't find the source of it. Its Professor Viorel.

YOU DUMB WHORE!! YOU DO NOT KNOW THE CHANTS! I instruct you to visit the LIBRARY and read up on your chants. The librarian will help you, I promise. NOW GO, NEWCOMER!!

His voice quiets down, growing spiteful,

My office is HERE, although don't fucking go in there unless its an emergency. Seriously.

Ah, I wish you wouldn't yell at the students, Rocko.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE MY FIRST NAME AROUND STUDENTS!
Anyways, I yell at who I want. This is my academy. Ah yes, I hear it! The Academy of the Church of Purple Cabbage!

Whatever, Rocko Viorel. Anyways, I am Professor Iris, Professor Viorel's nicer counterpart. If you need help from me, click here to go to my office. I will be there to answer any questions you may have. Have a nice day, student.